Overweight people often remain overweight because they are either unable or unwilling to look at what would change in their lives if they were to lose the excess weight and keep it off. It's important to remember that overweight people's weight problems are frequently tied up with their personal identities. For example, the overweight child who learns to see himself as a social outcast will need to deal with his personal belief about being a social outcast in order to someday lose and keep off his excess weight. The woman who gains weight during pregnancy and then can't seem to lose the "baby weight" will have to deal with her psychological reasons for maintaining weight gain before she can succeed at weight loss.

The point is that while many people focus on the excess weight as the problem itself, it's frequently just a coping mechanism that people use to deal with other problems. Unfortunately, many overweight people fail to either recognize or address the psychological component to their weight problems and instead focus on only their biology. Time and again, they go on a diet, thinking that maybe this time they will lose the weight and keep it off. But typically, every instance of weight loss is followed by weight gain if these individuals have not yet begun to negotiate which of their individual psychological needs is being met by holding onto their excess weight.

So how should you deal with your personal psychology? Begin by asking yourself if you're willing to engage in your own process of self-discovery. If you are, then you need to begin this process by identifying what you get from holding on to your excess weight. You may be thinking, What can I possibly get out of being overweight? Trust me, you get something. That something may seem to your logical mind like it is a negative, but to your struggling mind, that something is very powerful—so much so that it keeps you struggling with your weight instead of fully living your life.

A last word of caution: This is a process, so be kind, patient and understanding with yourself. Remember that it took a while for you to get where you are, so it may take you some time to work your way to a healthier state.

Michele Lifland, L.C.S.W., works in both private and group practice. She founded a private eating disorders clinic in 1983 and developed the Creative Mind Management counseling concept in 1998. She specializes in eating disorders and problem management.